It Feels Different this Time...

I have lost large amounts of weight twice in my life.  Both of those times I fell right back into bad habits once I had lost enought to say "just one won't hurt."  This time just feels different.  I am down 15 lbs from the summer.  I don't feel deprived.  I don't long for my Dr. Pepper.  I don't miss the dairy products.  I don't crave the fast food.  Best of all, my skin looks better, my guts aren't in a knot all the time, I am sleeping better and the numbers show my health is improving.

I've developed good habits and now they are second nature.  I take my lunch to work every day.  I cook meals from scratch as much as possible.  I shop for groceries differently.  But I have reconciled myself to the fact that I may not ever lose all of this weight and I am OK with that.  In fact, I feel great about that.  I just feel GOOD.  That's not something I could say for a long time.

Reporting In

Our new school, band and work schedule hasn't afforded me a lot of time for blogging over the last couple of weeks.  I do have to say that despite our hectic schedule, I have pretty much stuck to my eating plan.  I'm still off caffeine (can't even remember the last time I had a caffeinated beverage) and still cooking 90%+ of our meals at home from mostly "real" ingredients.  For the most part, any cravings I had have gone away and things are much easier than they were in the first week of this change.  Phone Guy has seen dramatic decreases in his fasting blood sugar readings every morning and I think he may be convinced that this is all working to guide us to better health.  The Pleaser still makes a face at everything I put on the table but I pick my battles with him.  I require him to try everything I make, then he can have a peanut butter sandwich.  And Danger Boy, well he just rolls with the flow.  Most of the time he ends up liking what we have, or at least some portion of it anyway.

I don't have an "official" weight loss number yet but I believe it is somewhere around 10 lbs.  I've been doing this about 6 or 7 weeks I guess so I guess that is not too bad.  I kind of thought the number would be a little more significant but as they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day."
 

Laughing So I Won't Cry

It is stressful trying to get the kids home from school and dinner on the table before The Pleaser has to be back at band practice at 6:30.  It didn't help yesterday that the boys were fighting while I was trying to get them to the table.  I lost my temper with them and asked them not to say another word to anyone until dinner was over.  They continued squabbling and picking at each other after the meal was over and while we were trying to get out the door for band.  I won't go into all the gory details but that sets up the situation for you.

As we were on the way to band practice, my phone alerted me of a text message.  I generally don't text and drive so I ignored it for the moment.  Then a few minutes later, it dinged again and since I was at a stoplight I picked it up to see what it was.  Well, as it turns out, The Pleaser had accidentally texted me instead of one of his friends.  The text read, "I hate my family.  I am going to live at xxxxxx (his school) from now on...."  Needless to say I was hurt and angry (mostly angry).  I proceeded to tell him how wonderful it was that he hated us and how I was so sorry that he had to live with us, and ride in the car with us to his band practice (which many parents would not make the sacrifices or efforts to let their kids go to),  etc.  He was stone silent the rest of the way and got out at school without a word.

We ran an errand and went back home.  Danger Boy was upset by everything so I tried to reassure him that everything was OK.  He and Phone Guy and I had a nice evening.

I picked The Pleaser up at 8:30 and he immediately apologized when he got in the car.  He told me he was just upset and felt blamed for everything.  I didn't have much to say but we made conversation on the way home.

This morning he asked if he could just stay through until band practice instead of coming home in between.  Of course, I had to ask.  "Why?  Because you don't want to be at home with us?"  (I know, I couldn't help myself)  "NO! Why do you have to bring that up again."  And he left for the bus stop shortly after for his 15 hour day at school. 

If you want to nominate me for Mom of the Year, go right ahead. *sigh*

Hungry Days

Do you ever have those days where you are hungry all day long?  I don't often, but yesterday was one of those days for me.

My kids went back to school yesterday.  I now have a junior and an 8th grader.  (Who are these people?  What did they do with my babies!?) It was a busy day.  I woke up at 4:45, got The Pleaser up at 5:00 and sent him off to the bus stop at 6:15, then got Danger Boy up and ready after that.  Then it started raining.  I dropped him at 8:30 and headed to work.  After a long traffic delay, I finally made it to work. 

I had eaten a protein bar at 5:30 but by 9:30 I was starving.  I ate the protein bar I had packed for my afternoon snack.  At 11:00, I was starving again.  I finally ate lunch about 11:45.  I was a good girl and had packed some homemade chicken tortilla soup, one bean and cheese taco, some grapes and about 5 chocolate covered almonds.  Normally that would be plenty for me but I was still hungry.  Since I ate my afternoon protein bar at 9:30, I was out of luck. 

I picked up The Pleaser about 3:45 and then went straight to Danger Boys school.  He is supposed to get out at 4:10 but we didn't manage to locate each other until almost 4:45.  You've probably seen that graphic on the interwebs that defines the word Hangry.  Well that's how I was feeling about that time.

I had planned dinner so that it wouldn't take long to fix.  I was supposed to go to a meeting at 6:00 and have The Pleaser back for band practice at 6:30.  Since it was already 5:00 when I got home, I immediately ran to the kitchen and started my second "meatless Monday" creation.  This time we had Spicy Spaghetti Squash with black beans.  I think I had way too much squash compared to the other ingredients and it wasn't what my family considers to be "spicy" but it was good and in case I haven't mentioned it - I was STARVING!  I quickly ate 2 helpings. 

After dinner, I decided there wasn't going to be time for me to make the meeting so I ran The Pleaser back up to school for band practice.  I came home and watched a couple of Criminal Minds re-runs.  Amazingly there were 2 episodes I hadn't seen.  I still felt like I needed to visit the all-you-can-eat buffet.  I ended up popping a little bit of popcorn and coating it with olive oil and sea salt.  Then I had a few almonds.  I felt like I might live, but truth be told, I was still hungry.

I picked The Pleaser up at 8:30 and he told me he had homework...in 3 classes...Really?  Who has homework on the first day of school?  So as he worked on that, I washed dishes then watched part of another Criminal Minds episode (one I had already seen about 4 times).  I was so glad for bedtime.  I was exhausted and hungry. I was hoping sleep would solve both of those problems. 

Let's hope today isn't another hungry day for me.

Shampoo, Who Knew?

Oh Dove shampoo.  I have loved you for so many years.  You smell so good and make my hair feel so great.  But we are in an abusive relationship - you are hurting me more than helping me so I must let you go. As I was researching estrogen dominance, I found out that the shampoo I had been using all these years could have been contributing to the hormonal imbalance.  No way?  Yes way!

Most consumer shampoos contain parabens.  Parabens are used as a preservative in a lot of cosmetic products and pharmaceuticals.  They are probably in the shampoo you love, the toothpaste you use, and the make-up that makes you beautiful.  Parabens can mimic estrogen and while there is some debate about whether or not they are harmful, they are thought to contribute to estrogen dominance and breast cancer.  Since I am trying to eliminate all of the factors contributing to my high estrogen levels, it seems logical to get them out of my life as much as possible.  If you give up things containing parabens, you will likely have to give up many of the products you have loved for years.  I have decided that, for me, it is worth the sacrifice.  Now, I haven't gone through the house and found all of the evil parabens and thrown them in the trash but as I finish things up, I am replacing them with items that are better for my overall health.

The first thing I did was change shampoo and conditioner.  I went with a paraben-free, sulfate-free brand, Nature's Gate.  Burt's Bees and Say Yes to Carrots are other brands that are "safe" but I liked the scent and price of Nature's Gate so I went with that one for now.  It took me a few days to get used to it since it didn't lather in quite the same way as my old shampoo but it is acceptable.  It smells great and gets my hair clean and doesn't leave it feeling too greasy.  What more could a girl can ask for?  Of course, you will find that paraben-free brands are a little pricier than drug store brands but if you are used to paying for salon brands, then you probably won't pay much more for a paraben-free brand.

I was also excited to find out that select Wal-Marts will begin carrying a paraben-free, sulfate-free brand called Simply U.  You can actually request a free sample through that link.  Of course, my local Wal-Mart won't have it but there are a few stores in this area that will carry it plus it is available online.  It is very affordable too, which cheap me loves.