I Called Her Grandma

We lost my grandma.  Almost 2 years to the day after my grandpa passed. 

This is the poem I wrote for the service. Hokey poems were my grandpa's thing. I wrote one for him so I felt it only fitting to write one for her as well. Of course, I won't be reading it myself because I'll be a blubbering mess.

I Called Her Grandma

Some folks called her Lillie
Others called her Maye
I called her my grandma
I am very pleased to say

My kids called her MeeMaw
She was so proud of those boys
She really loved to show them off
It brought her such great joy

Still others called her their Sister,
Auntie, Granny or their Mom
There were so many names
By which she had been known

Whatever it was you called her
I’m sure, like me, you will miss
Her sweet laugh (with that tremble)
And her wet, sloppy kiss

She is in a better place right now
At peace with others who she loved
It is a comfort knowing
She is with the Lord above

Some folks called her Lillie
Others called her Maye
But to me she was Grandma
And I’d have it no other way

Lifestyle Changes

I visited my doctor last week and had some bloodwork done. My cholesterol is way too high and in addition to that, I have gained back almost all of the weight that I lost 2 years ago.

My doctor sat me down and explained to me that I needed to make some serious changes for my health. I have a history of heart disease and diabetes in my family so I really need to take care of myself.

My biggest obstacle in all of this is my family. The Pleaser is an extremely picky eater and Phone Guy eats the most unhealthy diet you have ever seen. He thinks three of the four food groups are Bacon, Salt, Cheese. In the 10 years since Phone Guy and I got married I have gained sooooo much weight. He doesn't seem to mind...but it's unhealthy and I feel so bad about myself because of it.

My report from the doctor must have scared Phone Guy though because he has really been trying to help me eat better. We shopped for groceries together yesterday and chose some alternative foods like ground turkey instead of ground beef. He said he's willing to do this and support me the best he can.

I also got some great support from my best friend. She is also trying to lose some weight, though hers is post-baby weight. She and I have made a standing date to walk together twice a week and she has offered up her ear and shoulder for anytime I need some support.

I have 3 months before I go back to the doctor and I want to stun him with how well I have done. I need to do this for me and for my family. I can't stand the thought of not being around for my boys as they grow up and have their own families.

Here's to a new me!

What a month!

I wanted to stop by and say "Hello" and let you know that I'm still alive and will begin updating again very soon.

My life over the last month has been a roller coaster and it seems I haven't had much time to do anything.

My grandpa passed away on July 28, after a long battle with prostate cancer. He was 84, and had lived a full, long life, but it was still hard to say good-bye. I spent the two weeks after his death helping my grandma and mom with things like phone calls to social security, filing life insurance claims and getting thank you's done. In addition to all of that, I had been swamped at work with all the quarterly things that have to be done.

Then last week, just when I thought things would settle down a bit, my father-in-law called. He was frantic because my sister-in-law had just called to say she was having an emergency c-section. She was due on December 1st, so this was shocking news, of course. It seems she had HELLP syndrome, and was very grave. They took the baby to save her life and brought him by air ambulance to the area where DH and I live (they are about 2 hours away). So we rushed to the hospital to be there when the baby got there. We stayed off and on for several days until sister-in-law was feeling better and could get out to visit the baby.

She is doing so much better and baby Andrew is hanging tough. If you are the praying type and can spare a prayer for him and his family, it would be much appreciated. He is one week old tomorrow, but only would be only 25 1/2 weeks gestational age. He has a long, hard road ahead of him, but I feel good about his chances. The doctors and nurses who are caring for him seem to be the best.

So maybe the turmoil around here will settle down eventually...The boys head back to school next week and the new TV season is fast approaching. I'm looking forward to fall.

For Grandpa

My grandpa was king of the corny poem.  He always wrote silly but very touching poetry.  When my oldest son was born, he typed a poem and framed it and that is something that I treasure to this day.  So in his honor, I wrote this silly little poem about him.  I think my brother is going to read it at the service for me.  :)

My grandpa was a great man

He loved us like only a grandpa can

He was sweet, and generous, and he was kind

All the things that, in a grandpa, one should find

His corny jokes always made me laugh

He was always there to take photographs

His camera was always around his neck

He didn't care if you looked a wreck

He showed me how to sneak French fries

So no one would be any more the wise

I remember he always wrote everything down

And sometimes he acted quite the clown

He wrote poems and stories when he could

And he carved us lots of things from wood

He researched all of our family's history

So that when we grew up, it wouldn't be such a mystery

Crossword puzzles were one of his favorite things

And he loved to go garage sale shopping

He had his faults, as all of us do

But he was good at being Grandpa, that much is true

I'll miss him so much now that he's gone

But I'm so glad to know that his suffering is done

My grandpa was a great man

I loved him like only a granddaughter can

I Just Got the Call

My grandpa passed away a short time ago.

I went with my mom to the hospital today and I am so glad I did.  He never knew I was there but I feel better that I went, especially now that he's gone.

Any good thoughts and/or prayers you can send my grandma's way are appreciated.  Thanks to all of you who have messaged me with kind words.  I really appreciate all of you!

I have the greatest friends - in real life and online.  (((hugs))) to all of you. 

I Feel Like I Should Be Doing Something

My grandpa is dying and I feel like I should be doing something, but I don't know what to do.

I can't motivate myself to do anything constructive in the house. I want to go to the hospital and at the same time I don't want to go to the hospital. Mom says he looks terrible and wouldn't even know I was there if I went but I feel a sense of obligation to go. I'm just not sure I can handle it emotionally if I go. I'm the type of person who likes to keep a handle on my emotions. I don't let them show very often. I don't think I could do that if I went up there.

The doctors say he probably won't last until Monday. We're starting to think about funeral arrangements. I need to buy The Pleaser some new dress shoes to wear to the service but I don't really want to tell him why. He knows that his "Peepaw" is very ill and will die soon but I don't want to dwell on it until I have to. He is a very sensitive, kind-hearted kid. This will be very hard on him.

Waiting for the inevitable is so hard. We've known this day would come for at least 2 years, maybe longer. We've expected it to come several times in just the last year alone but he always bounced back. He's a tough guy and a fighter, even though he is soft spoken, small and, now, frail man.

So I just continue to wait...

Random Blogginess

Well I'm here all alone sitting in front of the pc and nobody is on to chat with so I'm going to just randomly ramble a bit.

I'm so happy that Matchbox Twenty has a new song.  Have you heard it?  Oh of course you have, it's on my MySpace page.  YAY!

Do you ever feel like you don't have enough time to do anything, yet you do nothing?  Does that even make any sense whatsoever?  Probably not but that's how I feel.

My grandpa is very sick and I don't think he's going to make it much longer.  I'm so sad about it, but also hope he doesn't have to suffer too much longer.  He's fought so hard for so long and he's so tired and weak.  He's been so good to me all my life.  It will be hard to say goodbye.  :(

My babies are back home with me!  OK, I know they aren't babies...but anyway they're back home.  We picked Danger Boy up over the weekend and on our way back from Sooner-land we got The Pleaser.  They were so glad to see each other after 2 weeks apart.  Then today they tried to beat the hell out of each other so everything was back to normal.  It's OK though.  I didn't know what to do with all the quiet around here.

Well now you know what it's like to be in my scrambled brain.  Ha!

Dreading This Week

Phone Guy goes back to work on Monday.  That, I am happy about.  Lord knows we can use the money but it will be an adjustment getting back on the schedule.
 
The Pleaser gets his braces on Tuesday.  There goes another $100 a month down the drain.

We're going to an Independence Day celebration on Tuesday at my Grandparents' assisted living facility.  I'm sure the kids will have fun, but Grandpa isn't doing very well so it will be a bittersweet visit.

Then on Wednesday, The Pleaser leaves to spend a month with his dad.  :(  I hate having to send him.  I miss him like crazy when he's gone.  I don't think my 4th of July will be very happy.

Wish me luck on making it through the week.