Truth, Justice and...

Truth is a subjective thing, really.  Things happen to us, our brain interprets them and that becomes our "truth".  Is it the "real" truth?  Sometimes.  It's "real" to us but sometimes it doesn't effectively represent the entire truth.  My aunt always said, "There are 3 sides to every story...his side, her side and the real truth."  I think she was right on the money.

We tend to believe the "truth" of our friends - those who have supported us, helped us through hard times, been there for us when we needed them.  Of course we do!  That's our job as a friend.  Sometimes though, it's worth listening to the "truth" from another perspective.  You might see things in a different way.  It doesn't mean your friend is a liar.  It doesn't mean your friend is wrong.  It just allows you to form your own "truth" and base your decisions on that.  In many cases, your friend may be completely right...but sometimes, you may find out that his or her version of the truth is a little distorted.

So the next time rumors start to fly, remember what my aunt said:  "There are 3 sides to every story...".  Then seek out the facts and form your own truth. 

Just Say No

That's been hard for me...learning to say "no."

I am a control freak.  I really am.  I like to do things myself and see that they're done right.  I am afraid if I turn over any portion of my responsibilities, someone will screw up and make me look like a fool.  I am also a little nosy, so I like being "in the know".  I enjoy being involved in what's going on with my kids and my family.  I don't like being kept in the dark.

But I have recently discovered how liberating it is to actually say "NO" once in a while.  I just resigned after 6 years on the PTA board.  I literally breathed a sigh of relief once I did it.  I'll miss the job.  I'll miss working with a few of the people.  I won't miss the politics and the backstabbing and the pettiness.  I won't miss chasing down people for deadlines.  I won't miss the long drawn-out board meetings that get off-topic and go on forever.  I look forward to a year when I can enjoy my kids and the activities at school without any pressure.  How many more years do I really have to enjoy them anyway?  Not many I am afraid.  :(
So here's to learning to say "NO"!

Toxic

I've decided that life is too short to deal with toxic people.  I have one "friend" who has proven herself over and over to be in that category.  She is exhausting, neurotic and a user.  It took me a couple of years to realize how much of a user she was, but frankly I got tired of being used.  I was her best friend when she needed a favor, but God forbid I should ever need anything from her.  She called me tonight and left a message while I was out.  I can only imagine what favor she needs now.  I am not calling her back, nor will I be doing her any favors.  I am done!

I've run across some other toxic people lately - grown women who act like 12 year olds.   It's utterly ridiculous.  I haven't encountered so much drama since junior high! 

So to all of you who may have those "toxic" people in your lives, I share this from an article by Danielle Barone:

Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. 

Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.

Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive. They can be criminally minded, mentally ill, or just plain evil...
The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do that by being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring.