Caution: Fat Lady on a Treadmill

So, as I told you, I am starting my new "healthy lifestyle".  (Stop laughing)  So my mom gave me her treadmill.  It was at their shop collecting dust for the last few years.  I had to kill a few spiders and destroy their homes and *something* had chewed the rubber off the buttons.  I washed off the hanta virus so it's all good.  And it works...and it was free...and after all, free IS my favorite color.  So I got on it for the first time in like 9 years.  I was gung ho.  15 minutes...yeah I'll walk 15 minutes!  I was psyched.  So I'm walking....and walking some more.  I'm gettin' down with my bad self.  1 minute.  Oh yeah.  I'm an exercising machine.  Energizer bunny got nothin on me.  2 minutes.  Gettin a little hot in here.  3 minutes.  Could someone dial 9-1 and get ready cuz my heart is beating reallllly fast right now.  4 minutes.  Starting to wheeze.  Sweating.  Feeling faint.  Legs are kinda wobbly.  If...I...can...just...make....it...to...5...........5 MINUTES!  I did 5 minutes.  Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard in your life?  But I lived.  I will live to see another day.  So I guess tomorrow I will do 7 minutes.  As a wise man once said, "Can we do it?  Yes, we can!"